April 15, 2014

Girls vs. girls

A major advantage of age is learning to accept people without passing judgment.
Liz Carpenter
People are difficult.

Sometimes I envy guys because they make it look so easy. Guys seem to always get along and have something to discuss with each other. They don't (usually) have any bad feelings towards each other.

Girls are totally different. Girls world is not as simple and straight forward. You don't just start talking with random people and even if you do, you are analyzing and most probably criticizing every inch of the conversation partner. This sounds totally ridiculous, but it's true.

I hate this phenomenon. I hate it even if I would be the one having bad feelings about the other person. I don't understand why you have to pay attention to every small detail and if some of those details are not suiting to your world you have to get annoyed with that. And to make matters worse girls seem to always have a fight from the guys around them. Even if they would know that the opponent is not single and has no intention of "stealing" the guys from you. Seriously people, come on.

And in the world of girls, there is a thing called grouping. In this certain type of people go together and form a group. And of course if you are not seen to be one those stereotypical characters forming a group you will be left out. Surely there are people who are able to mingle from group to group temporarily and get along with all of these different kinds of people. But they are rare. Usually people in a group don't invite people from other groups and especially "outsiders" to join them. And if you try to get in and communicate with these people, you will feel uncomfortable and left out..

Why can't people just accept each other the way they are? Why do you have to get annoyed about superficial things? Are we just constructed this way or does it come from the culture we are living in? And could someone please explain me why girls can't be friends, but have to hate each other?

April 14, 2014

Life is too hard

Sometimes life feels really overwhelming.. There are so many things you can't control.. And it makes you feel sick in your stomach.

There are so many things that can cause you pain..love, friendships, work etc. Things are not always easy and you start to think how to get through it all.

Love is so nice at times. When you are in love you feel the warm intoxicating feeling inside you. But it has also the other side..love can and will cause you pain. If you are together with someone a long time you start losing this overwhelming feeling of love and it will be replaced by much more everyday feelings. I'm not saying that the feeling totally disappears but it's not the same anymore. You start feeling more trust and companionship which both are also good feelings. You can also start feeling bad feelings of jealousy, anger, annoyance, loneliness, depression and anxiety depending on the state of the relationship and other things involved such as work.

You may ask is it worth it? Is love and relationship worth of having those bad feelings? You just have to see how the scale is balanced. If the bad feelings overcome the good, it might be a good thing to rethink the relationship. But on the other hand, the other person might make you feel good. He might call you just to hear your voice and ask how you are doing. He could be there for you when you are feeling sad or fix you up some soup when you are sick. He might come home from the work, kiss you and say that this is the best part of his day. He might hug you in bed, pet your hair and protect you from all the evil of the world. If he's like that, then I guess it is worth to fight through the tough times and cherish those lovely moments.

April 9, 2013

Too many miles away

If you have to spend some time apart from your partner, sometimes it can be hard and you can have moments when you really miss the other person or feel alone. What you can do to make the time easier for yourself? It really depends how much time you have to spend apart, because you have to think about the relationship. For example, if you are going to spend two weeks away from each other you can concentrate more on yourself but if the time has to be counted on months then you have to make sure that the relationship doesn't suffer.

Short periods away from one another are easier to cope than the long ones. I believe that short periods away from each other can be actually good for the relationship. It makes the people in the relationship miss the other person and give them maybe a small glimpse of a life without the other person. You start maybe to realize how important the other person is and how unhappy it would make you if the other person would disappear from your life. The feelings of course are not nice, but if you have them it means that you really care about each other.

In this post I would like to tell you what to do to make you miss less the other person and how to make the time go a bit faster. Because even if it's good to miss the other person, you should also try to keep yourself busy and forget a bit the sadness. I don't think anyone wants to lie in the bed unhappily for two weeks. Not so healthy option.

First you should keep yourself busy. You should have something to do in the time your partner is away. If you don't have to work you could think about having for example a housecleaning party..keeps you busy for couple of days and also the house gets clean (also can make the other person pleasantly surprised how effective you have been). Or if your house is already clean enough you can make up a new hobby, start jogging or swimming or just try to have something you do every single day. This is a very good way of making you think about other things and maybe let you forget a bit the situation. Also one other good thing is you can do things you wanted to do for a long time and just didn't have time for it or you wanted to do it alone without your partner hassling around.

Second meet your friends. Sometimes when we are in a relationship we don't meet our friends as often as would like to, because we have also another person with an opinion what to do with the time you have. This is why you should meet up with your friends when your partner is not around. It's nice to catch up a bit and it also brings you company and you don't feel as alone as you might be. You can either go just to hang around and talk with the person or you can go shopping or to do some sports together, whatever you would like to do. It's important to keep yourself happy.

At least in my case, going to bed alone has always been one of the worst parts of being apart. It's really the moment when you feel that you partner should be there with you. And feels unfair that you have to sleep alone, don't get a good night kiss and no one is there to protect you. Try to think it positively, your partner will come back and soon you will be together. Keep your evening rituals..it makes you feel like the other person is around, at least in some level. If you really feel sad, you can try for example to sleep with a shirt that smells like your partner. It can make you feel a bit better and that he is still with you.

Try to call to each other, but set a time when you do that. This able both of you to make plans for your day and not feeling guilty that you don't answer or can't talk together. Tell each other about your day and keep the contact. This important to keep the relationship going well even if you are apart. But don't call too often or all the time, one time or twice in a day is enough. Otherwise it can get too ignoring to the other person. Even if miss your partner, you don't have to think about him all the time. And if you partner calls you just to check where you are, there can be a trust issue..your partner needs to know where you are or something might happen. Then you really have to talk about it together, because it's not healthy.

April 6, 2013

Being apart

 You realize just how important someone is to you and for your life when he is gone..

My boyfriend left this morning to a two week work trip..and I had to stay here at home. It's always so awful situation when you have to say a goodbye, even for a short time. He's just so important part of my daily life and he makes me happy every day. So it' feels really weird to have some time apart. It's not that it's uncommon situation..no really not. We have had to spend quite a lot of time away from each other in our relationship due to the fact that we come from two different countries. It's not easy but it's something that you just have to deal with.

I guess many times in a relationship people tend to take each other for granted and they don't realize just how easy it is to brake things up if you don't be aware what is happening around you. And even if you don't, there are moments when you just realize how awful life would be if the other person would not be around. These moments are quite important for the relationship and make you fight for love you have for each other. There are so many things in a relationship that could go wrong. But if you find the right person, you will see that some things are worth of fighting, because you don't want to live your life without that person.

I have been seeing many relationships breaking up lately around me. I don't feel that it's something so uncommon, because you see it all the time. People who have been together already for a while, just decide to give up. I think it is okay to do that if you feel you don't want to do that anymore. Not all people who end up together should be together.  Relationship is really fragile, and if you are not compatible for each other, you will figure it out sooner or later.

But on the other hand, I believe that every relationship has its own problems and things you argue about. It just depends how serious those issues are and if you want to overcome them. I don't say that our relationship was easy in the beginning. We had some issues and they made us argue with each and unhappy about the situation. But we got over them, and now I think things could not be better..at least in my opinion. If you find a person like this, you know that you want to spend your life with them. And because they are so important to you, you are willing to work on the relationship and try to solve all the things that come on your way.

April 3, 2013

Stuck in the normal world

Sometimes life just takes you with you..and you have to concentrate on totally different things than before. This has been happening to me. I guess it's normal..sometimes you have more time to do things what you want and on others you just have to do the things that need to be done. My last month was totally crazy. I was working over 12 hour days and had no time for myself (or for my blog). I was feeling quite exhausted but I could push things through and now I have much less thing to do before the end of the study year.. Even if there are still some things that need to be done, it's not as hectic as before and I'm really happy about that.

Now, things are going forward by their own weight. There are some things I have done which I have no influence on anymore..but there are decisions made that could change my life a lot. They are connected with job and internship positions..but we will see what will happen. I really don't know where I will end up eventually, but I guess someone will decide that for me..or at least I hope so. As I have told you, I believe that everything happens for a reason and what ever the decisions are going to be, that's just how it's meant to be.

Somehow I like my life at the moment just the way it is. I have a nice boyfriend who cares about me, my studies are going forward in a good way and everything else is also going well. I feel like I would not like to change anything that much..at least not to have big change in it. But on the other hand, I feel somehow that this is the time of my life when I should be enjoying it..travelling, getting new experiences and so on. In the future there will probably come more responsibilities and restrictions which mean that my life will not be as free as it is at the moment.

Because of this, I feel that this is the time when I should take all the opportunities I can get. I should travel, see the world and experience all the things that I've been dreaming of. Who knows when fulfilling those dreams will become more difficult than it is at the moment..no one knows what will happen in the future. But I guess someday we have to grow up, have children, mortgage and other responsibilities you just can't hide from..

So I have applied to some programs an opportunities taking place out of the world that I know. I was applying to an internship program to Africa. I don't know if I will have the slightest change of getting there but at least I had to try. Because if you don't apply you have a zero change of getting in, but if you apply at least you have a small change. It would be really a great opportunity and experience that would allow me to do research about things that could actually have an impact on the world.

But all of this is also causing mixed feelings inside me. On the other hand I'm really interested about the whole project and would be so lucky to be accepted..but on the other, I feel a bit scared and intimidated by the whole thing. It would be so different than my normal life and the time period is also quite a long one, the internship is for half a year. It's a bit like road to unknown..you don't really know what to expect and how to think about it. Scary..but cool at the same time..

But as I already said, it's not in my hands anymore. I guess there are many good applicants and because they take only one person to the project, it's a really low change that I will get the place. So I try not to think about it too much and get my hopes too high..I don't want to get too disappointed in the end.

March 16, 2013

A day in kittyland

Just some pictures of paws.. She had quite a busy day and she was quite exited that everyone was at home with her because it's weekend. She really likes to have people around who she can socialize with. And because in the week she usually has to spend some time by her self, in her opinion weekends are perfect time to spend some quality time with the rest of her small family.
First in the schedule was to wash some laundry..she didn't quite remember how the washing machine works..
 It's important to check carefully if the clothes are clean or dirty..these trousers seem to be okay still.
 creeping in the sauna..
a bit more creeping..

Quit it already. She got quite frustrated on me following her everywhere and photographing her.. It's not easy to be a celebrity. Things were going to a point they could have gone ugly but luckily nothing bad did happen and she was calming down..
All this is quite a lot to handle. You need to have a power nap now and then. Quite understandable when you think she was just turning one two weeks ago. You can't expect too much from such a small little kitty.
Boxing.. One of her favorite places to sleep and look what is happening in the house.
Still a bit sleepy kitty.

Okay guys, show is over. So we leave her to her majestic life and are happy when we got a small glimpse of it..

March 15, 2013

Relationship troubles

Can a relationship survive through everything?

Sometimes you can be in a situation that you don't know what is the difference if you are in a relationship with a person or if you are just friends or roommates..or maybe I'm the only one thinking about these things. I just mean that you are both in a situation where you don't have that much time on each other, you talk really less to each other and you really don't share that much physical contact on each other. What one should feel or think in that kind of situation? It's not something that makes you happy, so how to make the situation better. Because the reality is that the longer the situation continues to be in this way, the harder it gets to go back to normal state.

I think this kind of situations can be really bad. If you don't have time to be together and talk to each other, you start to feel quite neglected and unappreciated. You start to wonder why you are not given the attention that you were receiving before. If something has changed between you two. And there is not that much you can do to change the situation, you just have to live with it.

So how you can go through times where the feelings are put into a really hard test. I believe that these kind of situations are even worse than when you are in a long distance relationship. Because at least then you try to keep contact, talk to each other and you know that you care about each other. But when you are actually living with someone who doesn't really show interest on you it can really be emotionally stressing and difficult. I don't mean that you don't care about each other. There can still be normal conversation going on but it really doesn't different from a friendship.

So what to do? How to confront each other in this situation and get you back to the place where you were before? Honestly, I really don't have an answer to that. I guess you have to talk together  and make up a plan how you can improve the situation. I guess it will require quite a lot of work on the relationship. And if the workload is the problem, as in our situation, maybe try the other person to limit the work a little bit, do shorter days and put also effort to the relationship, not just to the career. Because even if I know work is important and it brings you money, your partner should be more important. Because that is most probably the person who will enjoy the rewards of the work with you. And is there something to be happy about if this person will disappear because of prioritizing work over love? I guess not. Remember to balance your life and think what the most important thing really is.